Bananas & Milk Duds

And I egressed the bananas.

And I egressed the pizza from the night before.

And the lunch before that.

I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade.

I made Linda Blair look polite.  Because of the G’s, I was egressing stuff that never thought would be egressed.

I went through not one airsick bag, but two.

Biff said I passed out.  Twice…  I was coated in sweat.  At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G’s were flattening me like a tortilla and I Was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person In history to throw down.

I used to know ‘cool’.  Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making a five-iron bite.  But now I really know ‘cool’.  Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and freon nerves.  I wouldn’t go up there again for Derek Jeter’s black book, but I’m glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand.

A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called  He said he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me.  Said he’d send it on a patch for my flight suit.

What is it? I asked.

‘Two Bags.’
 
“A veteran is someone who at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to The United States of America for any amount, up to and including their life.”