Category Archives: Satire

Trump Nominates Head of CIA

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In his latest major appointment, on Thursday Donald J. Trump nominated a new chief of the Central Intelligence Agency. Speaking to reporters, Trump praised his nominee’s “extensive experience with Russia.” “I have phone conversations with him every … Continue reading

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Bezos and Musk in Fierce Contest to See Who Can Lose More Customers

Brendan Smialowski, Mandel Ngan/AFP via Getty Images SEATTLE (The Borowitz Report)—A heated battle has erupted between two of the world’s richest men as Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk compete to see who can shed more customers, industry observers reported on … Continue reading

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Elon Musk Offers Million Dollars to Anyone Willing to Give Up Human Rights

PITTSBURGH (The Borowitz Report)—Deepening his engagement with American democracy, on Friday the Tesla CEO Elon Musk offered a million dollars to anyone willing to forfeit their human rights. “Giving up your rights is like riding in a driverless car,” he … Continue reading

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Fox Claims Harris Broke Interview Rules by Completing Sentences

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In a harsh rebuke to the Democratic presidential nominee, Fox News Channel asserted on Friday that Kamala Harris had “flagrantly broken” the network’s ground rules for her interview by speaking in complete sentences. “Vice President Harris … Continue reading

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In case you missed the VP debate

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Modern parenting

Keep your eye on the ball, then catch it. Then obsessively develop your skills to land a baseball scholarship, get recruited to a major-league team, and finally make me happy.

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Adding to your collectibles

Thanks to Pam P.

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Trump and the First Four Commandments

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Parody plus – Hitler’s take on the election

Parody of Hitler’s response to the election battle – thanks to Mike C. (click on the muted speaker to get sound).

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Can’t wait to vote!

Thanks to Kate B.

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“Vance VP” – Marsh Family parody adaptation of “Dancing Queen” by ABBA, on JD Vance

Thanks to Doug T.

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Trump Claims Walz Was Never White Before (according to the Borowitz Report)

PHILADELPHIA (The Borowitz Report)—Responding to Vice President Harris’s choice of Tim Walz as her running mate on Tuesday, Donald J. Trump claimed that the Minnesota governor  “was never white before.” “I saw him on television many, many times, and, quite … Continue reading

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Real — or not?

Thanks to Pam P.

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People With Children Horrified to be Praised by JD Vance

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (The Borowitz Report)—Sen. JD Vance’s effusive praise of people with children has caused millions of American parents to recoil in horror, interviews with parents reveal. “I love my kids, but I must admit that Vance’s endorsement … Continue reading

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Cats and JD Vance

As editor not sure which cat-egory I should file this story about JD Vance in my cat-elog. The cat-calls he’s receiving seem to cat-ch him by surprise. He must be having cat-fits.

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JD, Beware of this!

Thanks to Mary Jane F.

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Nation’s Cats Lash Out at J.D. Vance in Million Meow March

Thanks to Pam P. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Infuriated by J.D. Vance’s disparagement of childless cat owners, the nation’s cats are planning a mass protest at his next campaign appearance, the felines revealed on Wednesday. In a statement announcing what they … Continue reading

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Promises

Thanks to Mary Jane F.

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The gaslighting makeover

Thanks to Pam P.

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To Donald with love

Thanks to Janet M. and Pam P.

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Replacing Judge Cannon

Thanks to Pam P. Biden Uses Presidential Immunity to Replace Judge Cannon with his Dog Commander Jul 16     Saul Loeb/AFP via Getty Images WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)— Using the sweeping presidential immunity recently granted him by the U.S. … Continue reading

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Guns and conspiracy theories

New Conspiracy Theory Links Wide Availability of Guns to People Getting Shot Jul 15     READ IN APP   Patrick T. Fallon/AFP via Getty Images WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)— The Internet was gripped over the weekend by a wild … Continue reading

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1984

Thanks to Pam P.

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Santos speaks out

Thanks to Pam P.

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Commandments for hypocrites

Thanks to Bob P.

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