Clever definitions

Thanks to Gordon G.

BEAUTY PARLOR

  • A place where women curl up and dye.

COMMITTEE

  • A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST

  • Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST

  • Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. 

HANDKERCHIEF

  • Cold Storage. 

INFLATION

  • Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO

  • An insect that makes you like flies better.   

RAISIN

  • A grape with a sunburn.  

SECRET

  • A story you tell to one person at a time.

TOOTHACHE

  • The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW 

  • One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
     

YAWN

  • An honest opinion openly expressed. 

WRINKLES

  • Something other people have….similar to my character lines. 
     

OLD

  • I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.
  • She turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”
  • . . . and that, my friend, is the definition of ‘OLD’!!!

In youth,

  • the days are short and the years are long.

In old age,

  • the years are short and days long.
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