Did I read that sign right?

Thanks to Sybil-Ann!

Did I read that sign right?  “TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW” 
  
In a Laundromat: 
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
 

In a London department store:
 
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
 

In an office:
 
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS 
WILL BE TAKEN 
  
In an office: 
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
 
  
Outside a secondhand shop: 
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
 

Notice in health food shop window:
 
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
 

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
 
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
 

Seen during a conference:
 
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
 

Notice in a farmer’s field:
 
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
 

Message on a leaflet:
 
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
 

On a repair shop door:
 
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
 
  
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say? 
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!   They put in a correction the next day. 
  
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 
R eally? Ya think? 
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 
Now that’s taking things a bit far! 
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 
What a guy! 
————————————————————— 
Miners Refuse to Work after Death 
No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s! 
—————————————————— 
J u venile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 
See if that works any better than a fair trial! 
———————————————————- 
War Dims Hope for Peace 
I can see where it might have that effect! 
—————————————————————- 
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 
Ya think?! 
———————————————————————– 
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 
Who would have thought! 
—————————————————————- 
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;   Police  Suspect Homicide 
They may be on to something! 
———————————————————————— 
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape? 
———————————————————- 
Man Struck By Lightning:   Faces Battery Charge 
He probably IS the battery charge! 
———————————————- 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 
That’s what he gets for eating those beans! 
————————————————- 
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 
Do they taste like chicken? 
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Local High School Dropouts   Cut in Half 
Chainsaw Massacre all over again! 
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 
Boy, are they tall! 
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And the winner is…. 
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 
Did I read that right? 
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