OAKS, PA (The Borowitz Report)—In a spectacle that onlookers deemed worrisome, an elderly man struggled to dance in time to music for over half an hour on Monday.
After swaying unsteadily and bobbing his head in a random fashion for 38 minutes, the man was escorted away by his minders.
The septuagenarian has exhibited concerning memory issues of late, including last weekend in the Coachella Valley when he wandered off and abandoned hundreds of people in the desert.
His arrhythmic exertions in Pennsylvania, however, deeply troubled his caregivers, one of whom observed, “He danced so much better with Jeffrey Epstein.”