PITTSBURGH (The Borowitz Report)—Deepening his engagement with American democracy, on Friday the Tesla CEO Elon Musk offered a million dollars to anyone willing to forfeit their human rights.
“Giving up your rights is like riding in a driverless car,” he told a Republican rally audience. “Before you know it, you won’t miss having any control.”
“Just sign over your voting, civil, and reproductive rights and the check is yours!” he yelled.
Sweetening the deal, Musk also offered a million dollars to anyone who can stand hearing him talk for four minutes.