Ed note: I’ve not noticed (yet) a tendency of some to infantilize the way they talk to me, but I have overheard such talk to others. Perhaps I’m not frail enough yet. I hope it won’t happen to me or to you. Even if well intended such talk is condescending and limits our humanity.
By Paula Span in the NYT
A prime example of elderspeak: Cindy Smith was visiting with her father in his assisted living apartment in Roseville, Calif. An aide who was trying to induce him to do something — Ms. Smith no longer remembers exactly what — said, “Let me help you, sweetheart.”
“He just gave her The Look — under his bushy eyebrows — and said, ‘What, are we getting married?’” recalled Ms. Smith, who had a good laugh, she said.
Her father was then 92, a retired county planner and a World War II veteran; macular degeneration had reduced the quality of his vision and he used a walker to get around, but he remained cognitively sharp.
“He wouldn’t normally get too frosty with people,” Ms. Smith said. “But he did have the sense that he was a grown up, and he wasn’t always treated like one.”
People understand almost intuitively what “elderspeak” means. “It’s communication to older adults that sounds like baby talk,” said Clarissa Shaw, a dementia care researcher at the University of Iowa College of Nursing and a coauthor of a recent article that helps researchers document its use.
“It arises from an ageist assumption of frailty, incompetence and dependence.”
Its elements include inappropriate endearments. “Elderspeak can be controlling, kind of bossy, so to soften that message there’s ‘honey,’ ‘dearie,’ ‘sweetie,’” said Kristine Williams, a nurse gerontologist at the University of Kansas School of Nursing and another coauthor.
“We have negative stereotypes of older adults, so we change the way we talk.” (continued)