Intrusive thoughts are a common and disturbing symptom of anxiety. Cognitive behavioural techniques can help
by Nick Wignall published in Aeon
Jasmine came to see me in therapy because she was worried that she was going to kill her newborn daughter. She explained that, only a day or two after arriving home from the hospital after giving birth, a disturbing thought had popped into her mind one evening while she was changing her daughter’s diaper: If I just put my hands around her throat and squeeze, she’d be dead almost instantly… Jasmine was distraught at the idea that she was going to do something terrible to her new daughter. ‘I don’t want to hurt her,’ she explained, ‘but I’m scared this means I secretly want to… I haven’t let myself be alone with her for the past 48 hours because I don’t want to take the chance.’
My client went on to describe how more and more thoughts like the one of her strangling her daughter had been popping into her head recently. And she was all but certain that she was either losing her mind or secretly some kind of violent psychopath.
Thankfully, after a handful more questions, I was able to tell Jasmine confidently that I didn’t think she was either losing her mind or a psychopath. I also told her that I didn’t think there was any risk she would actually harm her daughter. And in fact, I thought it would be fine if she went home right now and held her daughter all by herself. I explained that what she was experiencing were unwanted intrusive thoughts, and that they were a symptom of anxiety, not delusions or psychopathy.
Over the course of several months, I worked with Jasmine to change the way that she thought about and reacted to her unwanted intrusive thoughts. By learning to respond to them as disturbing but not dangerous, both the frequency and intensity of Jasmine’s intrusive thoughts diminished significantly. And most importantly, she was able to be with her daughter and enjoy their early days together without the constant dread that she might do something awful.