LEXOPHILIA

Thanks to Sybil-Ann!

•    Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer! 

•    How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it. 

•    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. 

•    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. 

•    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo. 

•    I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now. 

•    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 

•    I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. 

•    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. 

•    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore. 

•    When chemists die, they barium. 

•    I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.   I just can’t put it down. 

•    I did a theatrical performance about puns.   It was a play on words. 

•    I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me. 

•    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils? 

•    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. 

•    Broken pencils are pointless. 

•    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus. 

•    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. 

•    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. 

•    Velcro – what a rip off! 

•    Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

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