Opinion  Republicans discover a secret elixir that cures dementia with one dose

Thanks to Mike C.

Rep. Byron Donalds’s medical education consists of a bachelor’s degree in finance and marketing from Florida State University. But the Florida Republican played a doctor on TV over the weekend, telling Fox News host Maria Bartiromo that, after examining President Biden, he suspects the president is receiving a secret medication that makes him appear to be sharp-witted and totally on the ball.

“The American people need to understand if they’re giving him some injection so that he can actually look like he’s coherent,” Donalds said.

Dr. Donalds seemed not to have considered the obvious possibility that Biden looks like he’s cogent and clear because he is cogent and clear. Still, the good doctor’s diagnosis raises some key questions that must be considered:

There is a shot that cures incoherence in one dose? How can I get some? Why has nobody thought to give it to Kevin McCarthy all these years? And why, for that matter, doesn’t Dr. Donalds, who seems to think he should be Donald Trump’s running mate, inject his prospective boss with the stuff? Just last week, Trump’s attempt at saying “carried out by radical Democrats” came out as “carried owby rgbgb tdai.” (continued)

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