Ruminations about aging (or is just chewing cud)?

Thanks to Gordon G

The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you.”  I whispered back, “Bring pizza.”

Me:  (sobbing my heart out, eyes were swollen, nose red)…I can’t see you anymore.  I am not going to let you hurt me like this again!           Trainer: It was a sit up.  You did ONE sit up.

I t’s weird being the same age as old people.

Life is like a helicopter.  I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Never sing in the shower!  Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.  So, remember…Don’t sing!

During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies.  Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this one end?

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance

I f you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.”  That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

.Cronacoaster   noun:  the ups and downs of a pandemic.  One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like

.I ’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.

I ’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.