This is from a column in the Sydney Morning Herald
If Trump was captain of the Titanic:
• There isn’t any iceberg
• There is an iceberg but it’s small and in another ocean
• The iceberg is in this ocean, but it’s small and will melt in about three days
• There is an iceberg but we didn’t hit the iceberg
• We hit the iceberg but the damage will be repaired very shortly
• I didn’t know how big the iceberg was until a week ago
• The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg
• We aren’t taking on water, but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat and they are beautiful lifeboats because we make the best lifeboats in the world
• Look passengers need to ask nicely for lifeboats if they want them
• We don’t have any lifeboats, we’re not lifeboat distributors
Thanks, but the joke has been truncated. Enjoy the last few lines:
I really don’t think we need that many lifeboats.
The people drowning should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats.
We have lifeboats and they’re supposed to be everyone’s lifeboats, but they’re only for people who kiss my a**.
They are not the passengers’ lifeboats.
The last captain of this ship didn’t leave enough lifeboats and, besides, nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.”