We Know the Cure for Loneliness. So Why Do We Suffer?

Ed note: Put B. sent me the article below and wrote the following. It raises important questions, particularly about the ease and convenience of dining together and meeting new friends over a shared meal. But is there even more we could do to enhance social interactions and prevent loneliness?

From Put: “I’m sending it [the article on loneliness] along because it mentions one of my favorite things about Skyline, namely eating together.

But but but, the Dining Rooms no longer facilitate doing so.  The common practice when Val & I moved here in 2018 was something called “Plus 2”.  It was an option on the dining reservation form that isn’t present on the Cubigo form.  And, apparently, cannot be added.

There is a comment space on the Cubigo form.  It is looked at by the dining room staff.  I know that because when Val or I ask to be seated outside, it happens.  (Or we asked upon arrival, on cool nights, “Do you still want to eat on the patio?”)  But no matter how many times I write “We would be happy to be seated with another resident, or two more”, it never happens.  They don’t seem to have any way to record that interest and do whatever they did back in the day.  I think I remember being asked on arrival, “We can seat you with a (a named person).  Is that OK with you?”  I don’t think we ever answered “no”..

Of course, you can always join one of the bigger tables in The Bistro.  But no such opportunity exists in the Columbia Cafe; there are no larger tables there.

I’ve heard that the same group of residents usually sit together at the “Open Table” and, hence, there is no room for casual drop-ins.  Maybe that suggests there should be another where that practice is discouraged….somehow.

Thanks for listening to my rant,“

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By Nicholas Kristoff in the NYT

Loneliness crushes the soul, but researchers are finding it does far more damage than that. It is linked to strokes, heart disease, dementia, inflammation and suicide; it breaks the heart literally as well as figuratively.

Loneliness is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and more lethal than consuming six alcoholic drinks a day, according to the surgeon general of the United States, Dr. Vivek Murthy. Loneliness is more dangerous for health than obesity, he says — and, alas, we have been growing more lonely. A majority of Americans now report experiencing loneliness, based on a widely used scale that asks questions such as whether people lack companionship or feel left out.

Yet there are solutions as well, approaches that build connections and bind us together. Britain is the pioneer of these efforts, having established the post of minister for loneliness in 2018. Britain oversees public-private partnerships that collectively knit millions of people together with programs like nature walks, songwriting workshops and community litter pickups.

A minister for loneliness is a less obvious need than a defense minister or a foreign minister. But other countries are paying attention: Japan has also appointed a minister for loneliness, Sweden has a minister for social affairs who has tackled the issue aggressively, and there have been calls in Australia and other countries for such a post.

That’s because if the researchers are correct, social isolation probably kills far more people in the West each year than terrorists and murderers, and it costs the public enormous sums in unnecessary health costs. Countermeasures can make a huge difference: One review of 148 studies concluded that social connections increase the odds of an individual’s surviving over roughly the next seven years by about 50 percent. (continued)