Mr. Rehm, then living in Maryland, could no longer stand, feed or toilet himself, but his doctors could not legally grant his plea to help him die quickly. Instead, the only recourse he was given was to refuse all food, liquid and medication, which ended his life 10 days later.
This is still the only option doctors can legally “prescribe” for the overwhelming majority of Americans who live in the 41 states that have yet to pass a medical aid-in-dying law. The approach does indeed work, but it’s not an acceptable choice for many dying patients and their families.
Ms. Rehm said her goal is that no patient should have to suffer the indignity her husband experienced at the end of his life. She described his death as “excruciating to witness,” even though after about two days the absence of food and water is usually quite tolerable for the patient.
Dr. Jessica Nutik Zitter, a palliative care physician at Highland Hospital in Oakland, Calif., said in an interview, “The concept of medical aid in dying is gaining acceptance, but it takes a while for people to be comfortable with it. Doctors are trained to just keep adding technology to patient care regardless of the outcome, and withdrawing technology is anathema to what we’re taught.”
As a result, doctors may convince dying patients and their families to accept treatments “that result in terrible suffering,” said Dr. Zitter, author of the book “Extreme Measures: Finding a Better Path to the End of Life.” In her experience, a fear of losing control is the main reason patients request medical aid in dying, but when they have access to good palliative care, that fear often dissipates.
A third of patients who qualify for medical aid in dying do not end up using the life-ending drugs they get, she said, explaining that once given the option, they regain a sense of autonomy and no longer fear losing control. In a study of 3,368 prescriptions for lethal medications written under the laws in Oregon and Washington state, the most common reasons for pursuing medical aid in dying were loss of autonomy (87.4 percent); impaired quality of life (86.1 percent), and loss of dignity (68.6 percent).
Of course, many doctors consider medical aid in dying contrary to their training, religious beliefs or philosophy of life. Dr. Joanne Lynn, a geriatrician in Washington, D.C., who is not a supporter, said the emphasis should be on providing better care for people who are very sick, disabled or elderly.
“We should resist medical aid in dying until we can offer a real choice of a well-supported, meaningful and comfortable existence to people who would have chosen a medically assisted death,” Dr. Lynn said. “There’s currently no strong push for decency in long-term care. It’s not a real choice if a person’s alternative is living in misery or impoverishing the family.”
Barbara Coombs Lee, president emerita of Compassion & Choices, a nonprofit organization in Portland, Ore., that seeks to expand end-of-life options, said, “The core principle of medical aid in dying is self-determination for someone who is terminally ill.”
Still, Ms. Lee, the author of “Finish Strong: Putting Your Priorities First at Life’s End,” said that there are options for the majority of dying patients who still lack access to an aid-in-dying law. In addition to voluntarily refusing to eat and drink, everyone has the right to create an advance directive that stipulates the medical circumstances under which they would want no further treatment.
For example, people in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease could specify that when they reach a certain stage — perhaps when they no longer know who they are or recognize close relatives — they do not want to be treated if they develop a life-threatening infection.
Leaving such instructions when a person is still able to give them “is a gift to the family, relieving loved ones of uncertainty,” Ms. Lee said. She suggested consulting the website compassionandchoices.org for tools that can help families who want to plan ahead.
Jane Brody is the Personal Health columnist, a position she has held since 1976. She has written more than a dozen books including the best sellers “Jane Brody’s Nutrition Book” and “Jane Brody’s Good Food Book.”