How to Stay Sane in Brutalizing Times

Thanks to Marilyn W.

David Brooks

By David Brooks

We’re living in a brutalizing time: Scenes of mass savagery pervade the media. Americans have become vicious toward one another amid our disagreements. Everywhere I go, people are coping with an avalanche of negative emotions: shock, pain, contempt, anger, anxiety, fear.

The first thing to say is that we in America are the lucky ones. We’re not crouching in a cellar waiting for the next bomb to drop. We’re not currently the targets of terrorists who massacre families in their homes. We should still start every day with gratitude for the blessings we enjoy.

But we’re faced with a subtler set of challenges. How do you stay mentally healthy and spiritually whole in brutalizing times? How do you prevent yourself from becoming embittered, hate-filled, calloused over, suspicious and desensitized?

Ancient wisdom has a formula to help us, which you might call skepticism of the head and audacity of the heart.

The ancient Greeks knew about violent times. They lived with frequent wars between city-states, with massacres and mass rape. In response, they adopted a tragic sensibility. This sensibility begins with the awareness that the crust of civilization is thin. Breakdowns into barbarism are the historical norm. Don’t fool yourself into believing that you’re living in some modern age, too enlightened for hatred to take over.

In these circumstances, everybody has a choice. You can try to avoid thinking about the dark realities of life and naïvely wish that bad things won’t happen. Or you can confront these realities and develop a tragic mentality to help you thrive among them. As Ralph Waldo Emerson would write centuries later, “Great men, great nations have not been boasters and buffoons, but perceivers of the terror of life, and have manned themselves to face it.” And that goes for great women, too.

This tragic sensibility prepares you for the rigors of life in concrete ways. First, it teaches a sense of humility. The tragedies that populated Greek stages sent the message that our accomplishments were tenuous. They remind us that it’s easy to become proud and conceited in moments of peace. We begin to exaggerate our ability to control our own destinies. We begin to assume that the so-called justice of our cause guarantees our success. Humility is not thinking lowly of yourself; it’s an accurate perception of yourself. It is the ability to cast aside illusions and vanities and see life as it really is. (Continued)

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Mossback’s Northwest: The day Germany bombed Seattle

Determined to keep America out of WWI, German saboteurs blew up a ship in Elliott Bay.

by Knute Berger from Crosscut

Years before the United States entered World War I, the war came to the U.S.

As conflict exploded in Europe, the German Empire commenced a widespread plan of espionage and sabotage to sway American public opinion against entering the war and to disrupt shipments of war materiel from the neutral United States to Germany’s enemies, like Britain, Canada, France and Russia.

So while America would eventually go to war “over there,” the fight over here began years earlier. And one night the sound of that explosive campaign was loudly heard across Puget Sound.

In early May 1915, German U-boats were sinking cargo ships and civilian vessels at sea. An attack that had a major impact was the sinking of the British passenger liner, the Lusitania, off the southern coast of Ireland. Nearly 1,200 passengers and crew lost their lives, including 128 Americans. International outrage exploded. There were even so-called “Lusitania riots” as public wrath focused on Germans abroad. In Victoria, B.C., the military was called in to quell a weekend of anti-German rioting.

The coasts were particular targets for sabotage and spying. Busy West Coast ports from San Diego to Seattle were tracked by agents — Americans and Germans — working under the supervision of Germany’s diplomats and military attaches. They tracked rail shipments and freighter cargoes and schemed to plant bombs. A particular focus was war supplies being sent to pre-revolution Russia. A railcar with vehicles destined for Vladivostok was torched in Tacoma. Bombs were ordered placed on outgoing ships. (Continued)

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Who you are not!

Thanks to Bob P.

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November

by Thomas Hood

Thanks (I think) to Frank C., but did we need a reminder?

No sun — no moon!
No morn — no noon —
No dawn — no dusk — no proper time of day.
 
No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member —
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds! —
November! 
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Skyline couple highlighted at the Frye Museum

Thanks to Ann M.

Frye Gallery Guide Diana Caplow and her husband Mike are supporters of the Frye who have been visiting the museum since the early 2000s. The Caplows are art collectors drawn to works not just for their aesthetics, but for the narratives surrounding them. They say, “Every art piece we own carries a story.” 

Diana and Mike began their journey as collectors during their college years, acquiring art by picking things out from thrift stores and country art fairs, with an interest in “contemporary tapestries, oriental rugs, paintings by North Carolina artists, and posters from Les Maitres de l’Affiche…” Another interest is folk pottery, specifically the work and mythos surrounding the North Carolina potter A.R. Cole. When they moved West, the Caplows donated a recorded interview Diana conducted with Cole along with some of his work to the North Carolina Museum of History.  

When visiting their children in Seattle, Diana and Mike always made a point to come to the Frye: “Mike and I would step into the Frye and were always taken with the quiet quality of the exhibits as well as the old-fashioned Frye Salon with its floor-to-ceiling hangings.” 

Since their move to Seattle in 2015, Diana and Mike have become frequent visitors to the Frye. “We remember Tschabalala Self’s larger-than-life, joyous, vibrating works, with bright colors and varied textures that had us immediately smiling, but on close examination her serious message is apparent. Similarly, at first glance Christina Quarles’s works beckon the viewer with bright colors and sweeping lines, but further consideration reveals a poignant message.” 

Diana and Mike say the Frye is “one of the places we expect to view cutting-edge art, works that are expressions of contemporary society, while having an inherent aesthetic. This is true with the current exhibit of a well-known artist, Romare Bearden. The Frye is not only exhibiting his prized collages but also his profoundly interesting abstracts.” 

In her role as a Gallery Guide, Diana contributes to the Frye’s commitment to artistic inquiry and a rich visitor experience. “Leading groups through the galleries, Gallery Guides are enriched by the disparate interpretations of the viewers,” she says. “As with the artists, who work from their vision of the world, those interpreting a piece see the value of artworks in the light of their own experience. Gallery Guides at the Frye support viewers’ varied interpretation with open dialogue that frequently discloses unexpected mysteries held in the work.” 

As supporters, Diana and Mike contribute to the Frye Art Museum’s efforts to present meaningful contemporary and historical exhibitions highlighting local and global artists. Supporters also aid in the Frye’s ability to provide free admission and engaging educational programs to people of all ages and backgrounds.  

Posted in Art, In the Neighborhood, Philanthropy | 1 Comment

Oh, don’t be so gloomy!

Thanks to Mary Jane F.

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Not seen here — one hopes!

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Who Should Fill Your Shoes? Considerations for Choosing A Personal Representative

REGISTER

LIBRARIES & LEGACY SERIES – Seattle Public Library

Tuesday, November 14, 2023 at 12:00pm | Presenter: Tiffany Gorton

Thanks to Barb W.

Join us for our final planned giving webinar of 2023 with Tiffany Gorton and Liberty Upton, estate planning attorneys at KHBB Law. Learn what considerations to keep in mind when you are choosing who should carry out your wishes or act on your behalf if you become incapacitated or pass away. This will be geared toward single people or those without children, and will also feature will-writing basics that everyone can use. Don’t miss this great session!


Tiffany Gorton is a partner with the firm of KHBB Law in Seattle, Washington. Her practice focuses primarily on the areas of trust and estate litigation and tax and estate planning. Tiffany is a member of the WSBA and the State Bar of Michigan. She is a frequent lecturer and author on trust, estate and probate issues. She serves as the current Chair Elect & Secretary/Treasurer for the WSBA Real Property Probate and Trust Section and current Chair of the TEDRA Subcommittee for the WSBA Real Property, Probate and Trust Section.

Tiffany has been a part time lecturer at the University of Washington School Of Law, LL.M in Taxation Program, is a member of the planned giving board of the Seattle Humane Society and the Advisory Counsel of the Seattle Repertory Theater. Tiffany has been named by her peers as a “Rising Star” and subsequently a “Super Lawyer” in Super Lawyers Magazine and Seattle Met Magazine since 2014.

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State Religion and the Constitution

Comments by Heather Cox Richardson

Egypt has opened its border crossing into Gaza, permitting ambulances to carry 76 badly injured Palestinians to Egypt, while 335 people who hold foreign passports were able to cross.

Jonathan Lemire, Nahal Toosi, and Alexander Ward of Politico reported today that the White House suspects Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanhayu’s days in office are numbered. 

Here at home, the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) has scored the House Republicans’ bill to provide $14.3 billion in aid to Israel and to “offset” that spending with $14.3 billion in cuts to the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). As those of us who have followed the economics of adequately funding the IRS predicted, the CBO found that the cuts to the IRS would cost far more than they save. As it is currently constructed, the bill would add $26.8 billion to the national budget deficit.

New House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) tried to spin this information in a way that can only be described as dishonest: “Only in Washington when you cut spending do they call it an increase in the deficit,” he said. (continued)

Posted in Politics, Religion | 1 Comment

How regressive are tax laws in Washington State?

Thanks to Mike C.

A study from the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy released on Wednesday concludes that Washington state still has the most regressive taxes in the U.S., meaning the poorest households pay a disproportionate amount of taxes compared to the richest households in the state.

The study takes into account new laws as of September and uses 2015 income data. Families who make less than $24,000 a year—the poorest 20 percent of the state—pay an estimated 17.8 percent of their income. Those making more than $545,900—the richest 1 percent—pay just 3 percent. 

https://www.seattlemet.com/news-and-city-life/2018/10/washington-state-taxes-are-still-the-most-inequitable-in-the-country
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The weird history of Halloween and All Saints Day

From the History Channel: “Halloween is an annual holiday celebrated each year on October 31, and Halloween 2023 occurs on Tuesday, October 31. It originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints; soon, All Saints Day incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows Eve, and later Halloween. Over time, Halloween evolved into a day of activities like trick-or-treating, carving jack-o-lanterns, festive gatherings, donning costumes and eating sweet treats.

Continue reading →

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Res ipsa loquitur

Thanks to Mary Jane F.

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Scrooge at Halloween

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Is it time to evaluate our indoor air quality?

Research now shows a virus such a COVID can travel well beyond the 6 feet “limit.” For more data from the EPA click here: https://www.epa.gov/indoor-air-quality-iaq/clean-air-buildings-challenge

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Can you find one?

Thanks to Pam P.

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Remembering Albertha Dorsey

Albertha and family celebrating her 90th birthday at Skyline.

Ed note: She was a beloved former Skyline resident who could still wear high heels into her 90’s–a truly beautify person who was an inspiration to all who knew her. She had recently celebrated her 99th birthday. Her loving family was with her at the end.

From the Seattle Times: Born in Gretna, Louisiana on October 1, 1924 Albertha made her way to Portland, Oregon when her husband Edwin Elijah Dorsey, a Pullman Porter was transferred there. She then ran a restaurant, moving company and janitorial service with Edwin, while concurrently working at Nordstrom, establishing and running their mailing/shipping department. She worked at Nordstrom for 42 years. She was an angelic, small but mighty woman who put God and family above all else. Her friends would tell you she was the closest thing to an angel on earth.

She is survived by six children and seven grand and great-grandchildren.

To send flowers to the family of Albertha Dorsey, please visit Tribute Store.

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Fleeting fame

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My Father Didn’t Want to Live if He Had Dementia. But Then He Had It.

By Sandeep Jauhar

Dr. Jauhar is a cardiologist who writes frequently about medical care and public health. He is the author of “My Father’s Brain: Life in the Shadow of Alzheimer’s.”

From the editor: Please see my comments at the end of this article in the NYT.

Two years ago, when my father was dying of dementia, my siblings and I faced a terrible dilemma: Whose wishes for his medical treatment were we to honor? Those of my father back when he was a healthy, highly functioning geneticist? Or those of the simpler, weakened man my father had become?

It was a predicament that has led me to rethink my views on advance directives for end-of-life care.

At the time, my father’s health had been in decline for several months. His appetite had been steadily decreasing, he’d been losing weight, and he often had to wear a diaper because he couldn’t always make it to the bathroom in time. Now he had taken a rapid downturn over the course of a week, and he had stopped eating and conversing.

Thinking he might be dehydrated, my older brother and I, both doctors, started to give him fluids through an IV at home. It didn’t help. We were faced with the awful choice of whether to remove the IV and withdraw medical care.

Some years back, in 2004, my father had written a letter to my brother saying that if he or my mother were to get “very sick,” neither would want extraordinary measures taken to keep them alive. “We want to live only if we have a meaningful life,” he wrote. In keeping with my father’s directive, formulated when he was “of sound mind,” my brother said we should stop the IV fluids and let my father die peacefully.

I had misgivings. It was true that life in a state of dementia would not have seemed meaningful to my father in 2004. The scientist in him would not have wanted to live without an intellectual existence.

But despite his weakened state, my father didn’t seem unhappy. Over the course of his illness, he’d never expressed a sincere wish to die. What was meaningful to my father in 2004 was very different from what had become meaningful to him in the past few months, when watching TV, spending time with his caregiver and children, and even just eating a spoonful of ice cream had clearly given him genuine pleasure.

It was possible to view those pleasures as simple, childlike, somehow beneath my father. But wasn’t this man before me also my father? Why not continue the IV fluids, I thought, and maybe try giving him some antibiotics?

This is a conundrum that in one form or another many families are facing. At the hospital system where I work, almost half of the 600 or so ethics consultations performed last year dealt with various disagreements over advance directives. “It is a daily occurrence,” Renee McLeod-Sordjan, the head of our bioethics service, told me.

The sort of problem my siblings and I faced will only increase as the population ages. The number of Americans estimated to have Alzheimer’s or related forms of dementia is more than six million today and is projected to double in about 25 years. Many older Americans will have advance directives like my father’s. And in many cases those directives will seem to contradict their current desires.

Courts have generally ruled that an advance directive should be prioritized as an expression of the will of a person when he is presumably independent and rational and has the time and the presence of mind to reflect on what he wants. However, isn’t that also a kind of bias that risks lowering the moral standing of the patient in later years? A person’s current wishes, even if formed in a state of cognitive impairment, must count for something. As a son, how do you withhold lifesaving treatment from your demented father who, through gestures and utterances, seemingly expresses a desire to live?

My brother often said that my father was living a life of “plus-minus,” by which he meant that it basically added up to zero. In my darkest moments, I believed this too. But perhaps we were suffering over our father’s condition more than he was. His world had shrunk, but so too had his desires, his perspective, his expectations of what constituted a worthwhile existence. The man who’d craved recognition and respect more than anything else no longer seemed to care about those fickle rewards.

To my brother, our father was no longer the person he once was. To me, he was still the same person, just a changed one.

In the end, after much debate, my brother, in conjunction with a hospice nurse, made the final call to honor my father’s advance directive, which is the goal in palliative care. We stopped the IV fluids and did not start antibiotics. Our father died at home a few days later.

I continue to struggle with the question of what caregivers should do in this situation. Perhaps a family dispute such as ours might be avoided if an advance directive were to explicitly state that the contrary wishes of a “future self” should not be heeded, though this still would not resolve the ethical dilemma.

Though courts may disagree, I no longer believe that advance directives should strictly be followed in every situation. They are often vaguely worded and may poorly predict future attitudes and feelings. To me, it seems that a contemporaneous desire to live, even in a person with dementia, must be taken seriously, despite what that person might have previously written. We recognize that minds evolve and people change in every sphere of human life.

Families and caregivers should weigh both past and present wishes in deciding what is in an incapacitated patient’s best interests. This would be best accomplished by a surrogate in tune with the patient’s wishes and how he has evolved — in most cases, a loved one chosen by the patient in advance. Ideally social norms will one day reflect this.

As I learned on the journey through my father’s illness, contentment with life can be compatible with cognitive dysfunction — along with the prerogative to change one’s mind about the care one wants at life’s end.

Editor’s comments: Advance care planning is inherently problematic given that we cannot predict our future ailments and, importantly, cannot predict how we will feel about our quality of life when we’re afflicted with serious illness. Discussions with loved ones help and the legal durable power of attorney is important. However, loving families may disagree about what your wishes are. Dr. Barak Gaster at the University of Washington has published a now widely used Advance Directive for Dementia which addresses life support choices in the various stages of dementia. Also, End of Life Washington has a developed a more flexible and extensive set of Dementia Directives allowing revoking and changes by the individual affected. There ultimately becomes a time to “let go” for all of us. Because advance directive documents are always nuanced, the deep discussions we have with our loved ones are critical to help them support our wishes at the end. There is an issue of choice in advanced dementia: should food/nutrition be offered if the person shows no interest?

Posted in Dementia, drugs, end of life | 1 Comment

As “right” as can be

Thanks to Pam P.

    Not the news.    
 
Johnson Promises to Be Greatest Speaker of the Seventeenth Century   “For years, time travel was the stuff of science fiction,” the newly elected Speaker said. “Now, as I take this majestic nation back four hundred years, I will make that dream a reality.”   By Andy Borowitz    
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Finally a losing game?

Thanks to Pam P.

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Letter from a resident. We must protect the innocent.

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Discount at the 5th Avenue Theater

As part of our amazing group of Corporate and Community Direct Connect Partners to The 5th Avenue Theatre, we are so thrilled to offer up an exclusive extra special discount on tickets to Irving Berlin’s White Christmas! This is a deal that is even more deeply discounted than your regular ongoing promo code.

For a limited time (until November 5th) you can get $29 tickets in zones 3, 4, & 5 and $79 tickets in zones 1 & 2 for any evening performance of White Christmas! The promo code for this Special Offer is BLUESKIES, which is different than your regular discount code. This discount code is not good for any of our matinees, but on evening performances, only! To access this discount go to www.5thavenue.org/blueskies or put in Promo Code: BLUESKIES when purchasing your tickets at 5thavenue.org.

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It’s Covid Season. What Are the New Rules for Staying Safe?

Thanks to Mary Jane F.

A primer on how to minimize your risk and know when you’re in the clear after an exposure.

A KN95 sits on a wooden nightstand next to some jewelry.

By Dani Blum

We want to be done with Covid. But the virus isn’t done with us.

While cases are not as high as they were at the end of this summer, newer variants are spreading, and experts predict that the patterns often seen over the last three years of the pandemic — the temperature drops, people cluster indoors, cases rise — will play out again this fall. That means it might be time to take stock (yes, again) of how you can minimize your risk.

“It continues to be a moving target, and I think that continues to be hard for people,” said Dr. Peter Chin-Hong, an infectious disease expert at the University of California, San Francisco.

As the holiday season approaches, here is a quick refresher on how to navigate the pandemic.

You’ve heard it before, you’ll hear it again: Masks can help you protect yourself and others from becoming sick. So can washing your hands thoroughly and not touching your face with unwashed hands, said Dr. Joseph Khabbaza, a pulmonary and critical care doctor at Cleveland Clinic.

The updated Covid vaccines can also reduce your chances of being infected, and especially cut down on your risk of serious illness, said Dr. Ziyad Al-Aly, the chief of research and development at the V.A. St. Louis Healthcare System.

Rapid tests are also a vital tool. (You can order four free tests per household from the federal government.) Testing when you have symptoms, or after a confirmed exposure, can help determine if you have the virus. Keep in mind that you should take two tests, 48 hours apart, for a more complete picture. If you do have Covid, you may qualify for Paxlovid, which significantly reduces the risk of severe disease and death — but you need to take the medication within five days of symptoms starting.

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Veterans Day Public Concert

Thanks to Pam P.


This Veterans Day join Cathedral musicians and “The President’s Own” United States Marine Chamber Orchestra for an afternoon of popular music from the American Civil War, World War I and II, Korean War, and Vietnam War eras, along with other patriotic and celebratory favorites.

All are welcome. No tickets are required for this event.  
LEARN MORE     Livestream Available
Not available to join us in person? Watch the livestream or join us afterwards to watch the recording using the link below.  
WATCH HERE   Facebook Instagram Twitter     Copyright © 2023 Washington National Cathedral, All rights reserved.


 
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Why My Fall Made Me Feel So Ashamed

by Dani Shapiro in the NYT

Ms. Shapiro’s most recent novel is “Signal Fires.”

The morning after I fell, I lay in bed assessing the damage. My knees were banged up. The right one was painful and swollen. I felt for the bandage my husband had secured around my chin the night before. It was still in place, sticky with blood. My jaw ached. I ran my tongue along my teeth; none seemed to be broken. A near miss, I thought. Disparate verses from one of my favorite poems, by Wislawa Szymborska, looped through my mind: It could have happened. It had to happen. It happened, but not to you.

We had been walking back to our car after dinner with friends. The night was clear. The sidewalk smooth. Because it was raining. Because of the shade. Because the day was sunny. What had I been thinking about the moment before? Plans, probably: my meetings the following day or whether we were running low on coffee. I wasn’t paying attention to my feet on the pavement or my body moving through space, until both knees and my chin hit the ground. I shot up instantly. “I’m OK,” I said to my horrified husband and friends. “I’m-OK-I’m-OK-I’m-OK.” I practically chanted it, like a prayer, as if saying it might somehow make it true.

The thing is, I wasn’t OK. I swung my legs out of bed and tested my weight. I made my way to the top of the stairs, grabbed the banister and took them one by one. Each step felt treacherous, as if the world had tilted on its axis and I alone were about to slide off. It was a familiar feeling, by which I don’t mean that I experienced injuries like these before but rather that a shadow had revealed itself, a powerful reminder that life is uncontrollable and unpredictable and we are fragile. She always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day. Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway knew the score.

Here’s what they don’t tell you about falls: You keep falling again and again. You fall off curbs. You fall down the stairs. You fall in the shower. You are an astronaut, floating and flailing through space, while everyone surrounding you seems to be on terra firma. Life reveals itself as that childhood game, Chutes and Ladders, in which you spin the arrow and land on an unfortunate square and down you go.

Your mind does this to you, and it does something else, too.

When we fall, we are consumed with embarrassment and its more toxic cousin, shame. Mortified by our fragility and its accompanying whisper of aging and death.

Most days, we can pretend that we’re in control. We supply narratives when something happens that doesn’t make immediate sense or threatens our illusion of safety. We like nothing better than a reason. In the case of a fall, we might first look outward: a crack in the sidewalk, a hole in the pavement, those stupid shoes. (My mother once tripped and fell on West 86th Street and considered suing the City of New York.) But soon, a more insistent voice seeps in: It was my fault. Now they’ll see me for who I really am: weak, frail, alone.

A fall is different from an accident or an act of violence. It is not something done to you but something you have done. I had been an agent of my own near catastrophe. My trust in myself had been broken, along with (as I soon learned) my jaw.

This is what shame does: It isolates us by telling us we’re weird and wrong. That’s the only way it can do its work on us.

As word of my fall circulated, I wanted to hide. I’m-OK-I’m-OK-I’m-OK. When I did speak with people, I emphasized how lucky I was, how much worse it could have been. I reframed myself as fortunate, even though my toes were curled around the edge of the abyss.

But then I posted about my fall on social media, and the comments flooded in. There were lovely well wishes and plenty of prayers and light and offers of soup being sent my way, but what surprised me were the stories. For a while, the comments section of my Instagram account became a community of people, mostly women, not only commiserating but relating, identifying and offering the details of their own falls: fell off a horse, at a wedding, after tripping over our dog, carrying my toddler daughter, flat on the sidewalk, breaking my sacrum, from my racing bike, into a ditch, in my own home doing nothing but the very ordinary, while getting into a rocky boat, hitting my brow bone, hard in the shower, displacing a tailbone, passing out, down the stairs, breaking my neck and face, shaken to the core.

Shaken to the core. When we’re injured, we’re suddenly separated from the herd of the healthy. But now I saw that I wasn’t alone. Difficulties befall (that word!) every one of us, so what is the use of self-blame and shame? The chutes are just a spin of the dial away. We could choose to see that as petrifying and unacceptable, or we could understand it as tender and beautiful. Acknowledgment of this fundamental human truth might just save us.

A season has passed since that evening I lay facedown on the pavement. I have stopped reliving the moment during every waking hour, though it still haunts my dreams. My body is recovering, but I suspect the healing I need to do goes deeper than fractured bones. In the waterfall of comments made by strangers who reached out their hands to grasp mine and pull me back to my feet — in their willingness to say me, too ­— there is a lesson to be learned. If we all could acknowledge our shared fragility, shame would disappear.

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